


Too Close

by lilacskies_17



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bad Smut, Cheating, Comfort, Established Relationship, Infidelity, Kissing, Longing, M/M, Multi, PWP kinda, Pining, Sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-13 07:51:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16013534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilacskies_17/pseuds/lilacskies_17
Summary: "-and then the Canons, oh hey Blaise," Draco said, leaning on the counter as if he hadn't just been pressed against it a moment earlier. Harry sat on the counter, his pulse racing and his lips feeling swollen from the intense kiss. He just hoped that Blaise wouldn't be able to tell that anything was amiss.





	Too Close

**Author's Note:**

> This is unedited but hopefully you all enjoy!

Harry blinked. 

Once. Twice. 

There were approximately 78 tiles on the little wall in front of him. 4 had cracks. 1 was chipped. 

All of them were a powdery blue.

He didn't know how long he had sat there, reclined in the porcelain bathtub, staring vacantly until he'd started counting. 

But he had counted the tiles 4 times by the time Blaise found him. 

"Harry?" 

"Oh. Hey," Harry whispered slowly, softly. His voice was scratchy with disuse and he formed the words with caution, as if just barely remembering what they were. Honestly, he couldn't recall what he'd thought about during his stay in the bathroom. Maybe nothing.

He just knew he felt... numb. _Empty_. 

"What are you doing here? You should be in bed," Blaise scolded affectionately and Harry let his head fall to the side, his glazed eyes finding Blaise's. 

Briefly, he wondered if they looked and lifeless and vacant as he felt. They said the eyes were the windows to the soul, didn't they? Could Blaise see? Could he see how painfully _empty_ Harry was? How much he was missing? 

And it wasn't just missing, it had been _taken_ , torn away from him, leaving him nothing but an empty husk. A shell of the man he used to be. He felt as if all emotion had been drained from him, dripped out of him as every second ticked by in the uncomfortably rigid tub. Perhaps all his emotions had simply gone down the drain of said tub. Maybe that's why he'd stayed there so long.

But Blaise either couldn't see, or he couldn't be bothered to try, because he remained there, standing patiently. Impassively. 

How, Harry wondered, could someone not notice when the person before them was empty? Could Blaise not see that the Harry he claimed to love was missing?

"Yeah," he swallowed after another terse second. A second of searching those hazel eyes he had fallen in love with.

Searching for what? He didn't know exactly. Maybe he couldn't see Blaise as well as he'd thought either. 

Harry stood sluggishly from the tub, his bones aching from the sudden movement. 

As he neared the other man, Harry had the sudden urge to vomit, to expel anything that was left in his empty body because while he hollow, Blaise was undeniably _full._  

~

Harry continued to feel empty for the next few days. 

It only made sense that his appetite disappear as well. The meager amounts of food he managed to consume tasted of nothing, and seemed to last in his mouth for eons despite how many times he chewed. 

He tried. He really did try to make an effort, but it was as though there was a bloody hole in him, because no matter what he tried, he felt so _empty._  And so he stopped trying. Why eat when he'd feel empty? 

And worse, Blaise didn't notice. 

He did ask. Once or twice. With a frown, on occasion. But with a "I ate at the office," or a "I've already eaten," he backed down. 

 _How can you not notice I'm gone?_ Harry wanted desperately to yell, to scream, but the words seemed to always die in his throat, and instead he'd force a thin, bitter smile and disappear into the library. 

He wanted to grab Blaise, shake him, ask him when he stopped _caring,_ but it was with a heavy heart that he realized that the answer would only tear his heart apart more. It was already difficult to cling onto the feeble strings of their relationship. 

He really shouldn't ask questions he didn't want the answer to. Not when the answers would be like razor sharp scissors, ready to snip anything Harry was so desperately clinging onto. 

~

Beside him, Blaise shifted, mumbling something in his sleep that had Harry's heart hammering in his chest. 

When the brunet relaxed again, Harry blinked up at the ceiling.

 _Wake up_ , his mind screamed. _**Please,** wake up._

_How can you sleep when I'm not beside you?_

His mind raged these thoughts, his heart twinging with sadness because he felt so utterly _alone_ despite the body lying a few inches away from his. 

"Please," he whispered brokenly, his hand centimeters away from touching Blaise, wanting nothing more than to rouse him and talk, to confide in him like they used to when they were just starting out. At the last second, he snatched his hand away. 

This was not then. Things had changed.

With a sigh, he got up, wishing that Blaise would notice his sudden absence and wake up. Instead, Blaise continued to mumble, and Harry closed the door behind him softly. 

~

"You don't look like yourself anymore," Blaise said quietly one night, staring intensely at his plate as Harry froze in front of him. 

"I'm just tired."

"No. You're not." Blaise countered, his body relaxed but his hand curled around his fork so tightly that his knuckles were beginning to whiten. 

"I am," Harry insisted tiredly. He was. He was tired of feeling empty and abandoned and not having anyone notice. He was utterly exhausted and all he wanted to do was lay in bed and stare up at the ceiling. 

He didn't want to be sitting at the table with a plate of food that tasted like nothing, with a person who didn't notice anything changing, pretending that everything was alright. 

"Goddammit Harry, I'm _trying_ here. I've tried giving you space and that's obviously not worked. I wish you'd just fucking talk to me instead of moping around like a bloody-"

"I saw you the other night."

"I. What?" Blaise faltered, a confused look coming into his eyes. 

"I saw you." Harry said listlessly. He was focused on the little swirls of wood in their table, but the swirls weren't focusing and he felt like he did when he stared at the ceiling. Vacant. Lost. Empty. 

"When?" Blaise asked quietly. 

"Two weeks ago. Nearly three now."

There was silence in the room, save for the soft breathing of them both. Harry continued to stare blankly at the table. How had those swirls gotten there? Maybe Hermione would know. He should ask her. 

"I thought Smith was married." 

"He is." Blaise breathed and Harry wanted to feel something, to feel anger or hurt or betrayal but all he felt was _empty._  

So _fucking_ empty. 

Instead, Harry hummed noncommittally and grabbed a water bottle. He would spend the rest of the evening in the library. 

As he closed the door behind him, a symphony began, starting with the soft flute-like whimpers and followed by the crashing sounds of breaking dishes booming through the room. 

~

"Hullo Draco." 

"Hello, Potter," Draco responded curtly. 

"He's not here right now," Harry informed him, his eyes lazily tracing the spider currently weaving an intricate web on the ceiling. 

"I'm not here to see Blaise." 

"Oh. We've not broken up, yet, if you're here to tell me what a great bloke he is," Harry replied, not unkindly, but with a toneless voice, much like a robot would. Or much like an empty person would. There was no inflection or tone to take on when one was empty. 

There was a pause. 

"I'm not," he assured, a questioning lilt in his voice.

Harry only hummed. Draco was silent for a few seconds, seeming to contemplate something - he was thinking so hard, Harry could basically feel his thoughts - before he appeared to give up. 

Maybe he realized that he wouldn't get the usual banter out of Harry, much less a two-way conversation. Thankfully, instead of forcing a conversation, Draco neatly folded his robes and laid on the floor next to Harry, his hands intertwined behind his head to cushion it. 

For the first time in days - weeks, even - Harry felt something. A flicker of surprise but it was a change from feeling so empty for so long.

~

"Do you even care?" Blaise asked suddenly one night a few days later, his eyes fixed on his plate. 

"Hmm?" 

"Do you even care? About my... my-" 

"Oh," Harry cut in, emotionless. He didn't know if he cared. 

He obviously did if the situation was driving him to the brink of insanity, right? 

But was it the situation? Was it what Blaise did or was it the fact that yet another person was leaving him? 

He didn't know. Rather than answer, Harry set his jaw and retreated to the library, pretending he couldn't hear the long exhale behind him. 

~

"Alright, I've had enough," Draco declared when he waltzed in a few days later. The blond had taken to visiting Harry when Blaise was at work - a strange occurrence but not a wholly unwelcome one. 

Harry raised an eyebrow. 

"This isn't like you, Potter. For fuck's sake, you defeated the Dark Lord and yet you've let one little _indiscretion_ render you useless!" 

"That's not-"

"True? I've known you since we were 11, Potter, I do think I know you a little better than you give me credit for," he sniffed haughtily and Harry felt annoyance roll through him. How did Malfoy manage to make everything seem poncy? 

"Alright, fine," he shot back, jumping to his feet, "what do you propose I do then?" 

That seemed to catch the other man off guard but he quickly recovered. 

"Let's go flying." 

\---

When they stumbled in a couple of hours later, Harry's stomach hurt from laughing and his thighs quivered when he walked - a side effect of having been on a broom for hours. He paused in his reflection, surprised that he had felt so much passion and happiness and elation in just one day. 

And with Malfoy, of all people.

He swallowed harshly, turning his head to look at Malfoy as he gestured and talked animatedly about the last snitch he'd caught. 

His long, slender fingers cut through the air gracefully, with purpose yet seemingly without much thought. It was magnificent to behold, watching Malfoy with guard down, allowing him to talk and express himself as he wished. 

And Merlin, his eyes. They were like molten silver, seemingly hot with a passion and intensity Harry wanted to drown in. But their color made them seem so cool, so impenetrable as if they were made out of steel. Harry wanted nothing more than to get lost in them. 

"-fluttering in my hand. I told you I was the better seeker. What? Why are you looking at me like that?" Draco suddenly asked, laughing a little self-consciously - a term he'd never thought he'd use to describe Malfoy. 

"Nothing... I just, er, thank you. For today," Harry explained as he felt the heat of a flush on his cheeks. 

"Of course, Potter," Draco said, his voice a normal volume but the tone of it so soft that Harry wanted to wrap himself up in that phrase. 

He looked around at the darkened house and before he could think it through, the words were out of his mouth.

"Would you like to stay for dinner?" 

\---

It turns out that flying for various hours and rediscovering one's emotions increased one's appetite and for the first time in weeks, Harry ate his whole meal _and_ dessert. 

"I must say, I didn't expect your culinary expertise to be so..."

"Well developed?" Harry guessed, smirking over his glass of wine at Draco. 

"Precisely," he murmured, as he lifted his own glass. 

Time seem to melt away as they stared at each other, both of them staring with an intensity that they couldn't voice. 

"Shall I help you clean up?" 

"Sure," Harry replied, somewhat surprised that Draco would even offer. Together, they cleared the table - the Muggle way - and took the dirty dishes to the kitchen. 

Harry can't remember how it happened but one minute, he was drying a glass while Draco scrubbed a plate and the next, he was sucking on Draco's tongue and pressing him against the counter. 

A soft moan had Harry grinding his hips against Draco's, their tongues retreating momentarily so that they could press their lips together. It was messy and uncoordinated and completely erotic and _undoubtedly_ the best kiss of Harry's entire life. 

"Harry," Draco gasped, his voice breathy and high, so full of want that he nearly came in his pants like a prepubescent boy. 

"Harry!" A different voice shouted from the door and they sprang apart, both of them panting and their eyes darkened with lust. Harry gulped. 

"Harry!" Blaise yelled again, and his footsteps could be heard stampeding up the stairs. As if the scene had been unpaused, they scrambled to right themselves. 

"-and then the Canons, oh hey Blaise," Draco said, leaning on the counter as if he hadn't just been pressed against it a moment earlier. Harry sat on the counter, his pulse racing and his lips feeling swollen from the intense kiss. He just hoped that Blaise wouldn't be able to tell that anything was amiss.

"Hello, Draco," Blaise replied slowly, confused. 

"We were just catching up on the latest Quidditch gossip," Harry supplied and released a breath when Blaise seemed to buy it. 

Crisis adverted. 

~

Slowly, Harry began to feeling like he was living again. 

This feat was in large part due to Draco's nagging presence. And his stubbornness. 

He forced Harry to go out, or simply do things rather than lay about moping. 

It was awkward, yes, especially after their kiss but Harry found himself looking forward to their little trips and even more grateful toward Malfoy. He could still be a git sometimes, but he was one Harry was grateful for. 

So of course, Harry had to go and fuck it up when everything was going so well. 

Truly, it could've been the start of a great friendship. They got along surprisingly well, with their sarcastic wit and common interests. 

It could've been great. 

Had Harry not kissed him again. 

It had been a reflex - Malfoy had just looked so happy and they were standing so close that all Harry had had to do was lean down slightly and their lips were connected. 

The kiss lasted a few seconds before Malfoy pushed him back and mumbled an excuse about going home and a cat before disapparating, leaving Harry to curse himself for cocking everything up. 

~

"We should talk," Harry started lowly, his heart pounding as he sat in front of a tired looking Blaise. 

"We should," he agreed. "I'll make this easy on you. We should break up. I'm not ready to settle down and you... you deserve better, more than I can offer." 

"I.. I'm sorry," he said lamely and Blaise shrugged. 

"No need. I was the one who fucked it all up," he explained ruefully. 

Harry frowned. 

"There's two in this relationship, Blaise." 

"Yes, and we both have faults, but you weren't the one who was unfaithful." 

The irony was not lost on Harry and had it been any other scenario, he would've laughed. Instead, he watched somberly as Blaise struggled to say something. 

"I'm sorry, Harry. You truly do deserve happiness." 

"You do too," Harry said sincerely. His thoughts, however, were on Draco and it was with a jolt that he realized that Draco may annoy him, anger him, frustrate him, but he made Harry happy. Happy and giddy and excited. 

"I figured that you'd want to have your space back, so I've already packed my stuff," he said and Harry swallowed painfully. True, they hadn't slept in the same bed for weeks and they were hardly together anymore but he had grown accustomed to having Blaise close by. 

"Alright," he said stiffly, his eyes growing a bit moist. He didn't have the feelings he once did for him but that didn't mean he didn't care for the man. He loved him - as a friend, but, love nonetheless. 

Blaise regarded him silently, his own eyes filling with tears. 

They embraced each other once more, a hug that lasted longer than necessary; a hug to mend. 

"Goodbye Harry." 

"Goodbye, Blaise," he murmured, pressing a soft kiss to the other man's forehead before he walked out of his life. 

~

It took about 2 months before they gave in to temptation.

Draco had been coming around more often and though Harry was still a bit morose, he felt better than he had in a long time. He had moped enough when he found out about Blaise - that had been more than enough grieving. 

So it had taken half a bottle of wine before Draco was on Harry's lap, the two of them snogging as if their lives depended on it.

 _"Fuck,"_ Harry groaned as Draco kissed his neck, his teeth scraping the juncture right where his shoulder met his neck. He kneaded the blond's arse as his neck was assuaged with plush lips, wondering how a few simple kisses could make him feel more than he had in _years._  

"That's the plan," Draco murmured lowly, rocking back and forth on Harry's lap, the friction making them both groan. 

"Yeah?" He asked, kissing those goddamned rosy lips as he flipped them over in a practiced moved. "Do you want my cock up that perfect little arse?" 

"Gods, yes," he whimpered, his kisses becoming more wet as he became delirious with need. 

Harry couldn't believe how much his life had changed in a few weeks. Just thinking about it made his head spin. Who would've thought that he'd have Draco Malfoy panting beneath him, begging to be fucked? 

"Tell me what you want, Draco," he ordered lowly, grinding his erection against the blond's. He ran his hands down Draco's torso, grinning in satisfaction when he gasped and his skin began to pinken.

"You," he breathed out, "I want you." 

It seemed as if the whole world froze around them, green meeting grey as they focused only on each other. 

"You have me," Harry promised, his lips descending on Draco's, softer than they were before. He sucked Draco's bottom lip into his own, smirking when the blond moaned lowly. 

\---

Two hours later, when Harry awoke with a glorious ache in his bones, it was to the sight of Draco Malfoy sleeping.

The events of a few hours prior came rushing back to him and he felt giddy with the knowledge that they were beginning something new. He observed Draco quietly, noticing how his long lashes touched his cheek and his cheeks were a slight pink.

"Quit staring," he grunted and Harry startled before chuckling. 

"It's called admiring." 

"Bloody sap," Draco huffed. He then puckered his lips slightly in a silent demand for a kiss which Harry obliged. It was meant to be swift and sweet but it quickly grew intense as hands wandered and pants escaped their lips. Before he knew what was happening, Draco was rolling atop of him, soft strands of blond hair creating a short curtain around them.

They were both still naked and Harry felt no remorse as he reached down and lightly fingered the pink hole he had buried himself in just hours before. 

"Still so loose for me," Harry murmured, wet lips tracing a trail down the column of Draco's pale neck. 

"Still so hard for me," Draco mocked breathlessly, his hand reaching between them and grasping Harry's cock in his long fingers. 

"I want this in my mouth," he said suddenly, looking between them, fascinated. "But I want it in me more." 

"Choose one, I'm not picky," Harry said cheekily. 

"I have an idea." 

The next thing he knew, Draco was positioning himself over Harry's cock, looking every bit like an angel sent to wreck him in every way possible. 

It was a sight that would remain ingrained in his mind forever, his hands on Draco's hips, helping him bounce on his cock. 

"You look so bloody beautiful," Harry swore, cursing when Draco suddenly clenched around him. 

"I'll look even better with your cum on my face," Draco panted out between thrusts, his own hand working himself as he forced himself down.

"Fuck, really?" Harry gasped out, his cock twitching dangerously inside of Draco. The infuriating blond only nodded jerkily, his hand moving faster. 

A few thrusts later, Draco was sliding off completely, his lips delivering a wet kiss to the tip of Harry's cock, his pink tongue reaching out to give it a kitten lick. 

Harry gazed down, mesmerized by the sight of Draco's red lips wrapping around his cock and suckling gently. A hand reached up to fondle his balls and before he knew it, his orgasm was hurtling toward him. 

"Draco I-" was all he managed to say before he felt the delicious waves of an earth-shattering orgasm wash over him. 

Draco managed to pull off in time, his hand gripping Harry's cock as he milked every drop of come onto his face, painting an obscene picture of soft skin. He stared with wide eyes as Draco brought a hand up, dragging one pale finger through the substance before sticking it in his mouth. 

"Gods," Harry groaned, his cock giving a valiant twitch as he caught sight of Draco's own come puddle further down the bed. 

"You're amazing," he said, pulling him up to give him a kiss. 

"I know," the blond said, smirking. With a quick cleaning charm, Harry covered them both up, drawing Draco to his chest as they dozed again. 

For the first time in a long time, Harry didn't feel so empty.

**_FIN_ **

**Author's Note:**

> So sorry if the smut wasn't great haha but I hope you all enjoyed!  
> Feel free to leave kudos and comments!


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